Love story : Dee and Dang

Trying to Decide Where to Go from Here…

Trying to decide where to go from here is proving to be quite difficult. There are many options, too many really. I have spent much time and effort, and I still feel somewhat lost with my direction from Korea.

The first and biggest concern that I have now is continuity. I’ve changed careers often, ad I can’t continue doing this. There is no way to climb any ladder if I keep changing from one field to another. I must find that continuity that I’m looking for, or at least be able to do something that I can sell as continuity.

I need more information. There are many questions to be answered. How do I can combine my management experience, a BUS in Free Enterprise/ Human Behavior, TEFL experience, and a Harvard Master’s?

(Yes, I can’t stop dreaming of Harvard. I’m quite likely to go for it.)

I’m thinking… Business Communications. It builds upon my management experience and my bachelor’s. Plus, if I am smart, I can parlay that into a career teaching English for specific purposes (business) abroad (Korea perhaps) and utilize my experience teaching English as a Second Language.

I have to make my mind up soon. I can take some of my classes here online; registrations begins Dec. 09, and I don’t want to be late registering. I need to start working on the degree ASAP.

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Bad Karma

Bad karma… it’s an issue at school as it is anywhere else, and I surely feel it’s effects.

This morning, Aimee came skipping into the classroom, ran into me, and spilled hot coffee (a little on me, most on my notes). She looks at me like, “Oh well, YOU spilled your coffee.” There were no apologies, no surprise, nothing. I was instantly angered and ran everyone out of the classroom.

It seems, on the surface, that I was fully justified. But, was I really? Is anger ever justified, or is it just more bad karma?

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Something Inside Me Is Broken.

Something inside of me has broken, it seems; I’m not sure that I can fully explain, but it has to do with feeling… spent. I feel used up, like I have no more emotional reserves.

I think that I have gotten to the point to where I have given the children up to reprobate minds. Enough is enough. I can no longer hold out any ope of mutually harmonious relationships. It may be that I haven’t given up on the children, as much as it is that I have given up on “mutually-harmonious relationships.”

I need to save something of myself for those that really do love and respect me. I’ve invested so much in the children of Jung Chul, with little to no return, that I’m near emotional bankruptcy. I truly do believe that this is, indeed, the situation.

Today, I put space (emotional and physical) between myself and the children, and I’m feeling as if there might actually be some positive feelings in the vault. No more will I squander my emotional energy.

Speaking of emotional energy, and the squandering of it, I’ll not waste emotional chi on adults that are vampyric, either. Emotional black holes, I am learning, are to be avoided at all costs.

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When in Rome…

There is the old saying, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Seems simple enough, but I’m questioning that these days. Culture runs deep, and tennessee (the soil, the air, the water, and the particular angle of the sun) reared me, and when I came to Korea, so did Tennessee, in a way; Tennessee is that much a part of me.

When you leave your home, you take it with you, at least in part. I think that is much of what it means to be an expat. You’re not just a person living in a foreign country; you are a foreign element in that country. There is no complete assimilation.

This brings me to what it is to be a foreign teacher in Korea. Much of my time, I have tried to assimilate; for some reason, I thought it important to relate to my students from their point-of-view. Should I try to teach as the Koreans, or is that a futile thing to be attempting, in-the-first-place?

In my classes, my studnets only have to deal with me for a meximum of 55 minuets, but I have to t deal with Korea 24/7. Thus, the greater amount of energy adjusting is bieng spent by me. I’m having to give a great deal of myslef; so much that, often, I feel nearly spent.

The “spent” feeling is pouring into my well-being, and that is affecting my attitude. I find that if I have to fight in class, I’m in a fighting mood at home, as well. How I hate this reality; it is, indeed, my reality, none-the-less.

My wife deserves a husband that isn’t always moody. So, I have to look at all possible sources of moodiness. Being a good, kind husband is more important than anything else. Because of that, other things fall on the chopping block first. For example:

If school is driving crazy, I must focus on molding my classes to suit me, rather than the other way around. As bad as it may sound, it is more important to be of sound mind than it is to be a good teacher. So, if it takes quiet classes to tnot be moody, then quiet classses is what we shall have.

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Mr. Morgan Has Power… He Will Keep Us Safe!

Friday, I was paid one of the greatest compliments that I’ve ever recieved from anyone by my youngest students, and that was, “Mr. Morgan has power, he will keep us safe.”

Sure, I don’t hear that everyday, even though I would like to. Heres’t the story:

The children are goinig to a Halloween party on Monday. The teacher was trying to explain this to our youngest kids (5 and 6 years old), and it was going over very well, for, this being Korea, Halloween isn’t common-place. So, the teacher said, “We’re going to a haunted house,” thinking this would be the easiest way to impart at least some knowledge of the events to them.

Well, when they heard this they became neverous and scared. I’m 31, and they still scare me a bit. Anyway, they were feeling some fright about the haunted house, and the were looking for a way out. Then, they asked the question, “Is Mr. Morgan going to go with us?”

After the teacher answered, “Yes,” they calmed down, The children told the teacher, “If Mr. Morgan is going, we will be safe. He has power and can protect us.”

Needless to say, this was a great compliment to me. Here, I find myself in a foreign land, and the students I teach have come to trust me enough to feel that I can and will keep them from harm. Even greater than that is the fact that they wish for me to keep the safe.

Thank you Red class for your trust. I will try my best to ensure that it isn’t misplaced.

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