Love story : Dee and Dang

Written on January 29, 2008 – 1:27 PM | by Dee |

Dang and I got back from Southern Thailand Sunday afternoon, and, now that I’ve had time to settle back into life here in Bangkok, it is time to tell you about our trip together.

First, as you may remember, I was so very nervous, for I was to meet my Dang’s family for the first time. In my heart, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was one of the most important things that I was to do in a long time. It had to go well for Dang, as-well-as me.

“What if I make a fool out of myself and embarrass Dang? What if I don’t show the proper amount of respect? What if they don’t like me? What if, what if, what if?” Too many, “What ifs.”

I felt that way early on, mainly before we actually left to go South, but Dang eased my worries with her excitement. In the airport, the joy she felt was obvious. Not only was it obvious, it was contagious. Before I knew, I was feeling less nervous and more excited. I was going to a place special to Dang to see the ones she holds most dear.

At the airport, check-in and security were smooth; actually, it was the smoothest I’ve ever experienced. Dang was the leader here, which was a first for me. I’m usually in control when traveling. It was nice. She guided us through the whole trip like a pro. I was very proud. I know, it may not seem like much, but a lot of people simply don’t have the sense or the nerve to make good travelers, but not Mama. She’s got what it takes.

We waited for our flight, joked about the “giant chicken” we were about to fly in, and just allowed ourselves to relax and enjoy the experience.

O.k, you want to know about the giant chicken, right? This is an inside joke of ours. We flew Nok Airlines, which was nice, by-the-way. I speak a total of five Thai words and understand less. So, I had no idea what Nok meant. When I saw the airplane, I said, “It’s a giant chicken! We’re going to fly south in a giant chicken….” looked like a giant chicken to me.

“No, Papa. Nok means bird.”

“A chicken is a bird, Mama.”

So, now. We call it “Chicken Air.” I’m laughing just thinking about it.

Again, the flight was smooth. As we were nearing our destination, Mama glowed. She was almost home. This made me not only calmer, but happy. I was ready to see this special place and share it with Mama.

When we arrived, her sister was waiting on us with her colleague. They were, like almost everyone associated with Dang, gracious. The trip to Dang’s house was about 100 km, so there was a good little trip ahead of us. Unfortunately, most of it was in the dark. Seems like every time I go somewhere new, it’s in the dark. Hah!!!!

It was getting late…. too late to eat at the house. So, we stopped for a bite to eat before going on home. This had to be one of the neatest restaurants that I had ever seen. It was open-air and incorporated into a garden. Truly, it was gorgeous. I want one!!!! Dam paid for the meal. I know it was expensive, for there were four of us, and we ate quite a good bit. Again, Thai grace and generosity really knows no bounds, it seems.

I was a little nervous meeting Dam, but it turns out that there was no real reason to be. She’s easy going like my Dang. She likes to joke and laugh too. It was nice to watch Dang interact with her. The relationship between sisters is special, and Dang and Dam’s is no exception.

After dinner, it was just a few km. home, in the dark. I don’t have any idea which way is up or down at this point. Mae’s (Dang’s mom) house is in a rural part of Thailand; so, there is little to light the area. It’s dark the way it can only be in the hinterland.

“See all the banana trees?”

“Ummmmm……sure??????”

“Rubber, lots and lots of rubber trees.”

“Ummmmm…. o.k?????”

“There’s my grandmother’s house.”

“Wow!!!!! It’s lovely…..?????…..”

Yes, folks, it was dark. I’m near-sighted. You do the math. What would await me when I awoke in the morning? Only time would tell.

When we arrived at Dang’s home, we were greeted with warm wais and smiles. I was immediately welcomed. We sat and talked for what felt like hours. Yes, there were lots and lots of questions, but they came from a good place…. a warm place in the heart…. and they were much welcomed. I was flattered that they wanted to know about me.

Mae is all smiles. She and I don’t speak one an other’s language, but her warmth transcended that. She let me know…. “You’re welcome here. If you are good to Dang, we will be good to you. Don’t worry child.” I already love this woman like a mother.

One of Dang’s brothers was there too. He’s one of the most quite individuals that I’ve ever met. Truly, I’ve never met anyone that quiet. Don’t mistake my amazement with condemnation. He’s a good kind of quite. He bothers no one, and had a warm smile and a kind wai for me. I don’t know how he did it, but in his own, quiet way, he put me at ease, too.

Speaking of questions and curiosity, let me tell you about Pa Jai. She is family of Dang’s and a neighbor. We weren’t there long before she stopped in for a visit. I was a little unnerved at the beginning, for she was over to Dang’s family’s home so fast, but it didn’t take me long to figure out that I liked this woman- very congenial and light-hearted.

After about the coldest bath that I’ve ever had in my life, it was time for bed, and I was ready. Dam let me have her room, and I slept like a baby. There was a nice breeze, the crickets chirped all night, and peace settled upon the house for the night.

Hmmmm….. not a bad way to start the visit I had dreaded for so long.

The next morning, I awoke to fresh air and happy voices of people getting their morning walks. Ah, very pleasant. Dang and I went for a walk/run, I took another cold bath, woke up suddenly (Hah!!!!), and then we went to the market.

Dang drove us there on the motorcycle. Yes, I was escorted by Dang the whole time we were there. Hey, I don’t know how to drive one of these things. All I can drive are automobiles, heave equipment, and farm machinery. Anyway, I got to see what we passes the night before that was hidden in the dark. Beautiful. Simply, beautiful.

At the market, I discovered “delicious.” One of Dang’s relatives gave me a gift…. a type of candy made from cashews. I didn’t know what to call or…. or maybe I couldn’t say it…. so Dang calls it ”
delicious” for me. “Dee, do you want some ‘delicious?’” Hehe.

When we got back home, there were more neighbors to meet. We did this throughout the day…. Several Q + A sessions. We didn’t hurry all day. Our time was leisurely, the conversation was friendly, and I was a happy boy. I don’t know how, but these people put me at ease.

I think this is funny and worth mentioning: Pa Jai, the woman I told you about that I met the night before, asked, “If you stay South and Dang goes back to Bangkok, will you be o.k. here?”

I told her, “Sure, if you will take care of me.”

“O.k. I will take care of you.”

“And will you cut my fish for me, too?” I can’t cut fish with bones in it…. not something I’m use to doing, especially with a spoon and a fork. Yes, yes, I’m like trying to care for a 5 year old.

Dang and I made a trip by motorcycle to see her other sister. She had just had a new baby girl, Bam, and let me tell you…. she is a BEAUTY…. my niece very soon!!!! Dang and I instantly fell for her, and she fell for Dang. As soon as Mama picked her up, she pooped on her. It was the loudest and wettest poop I’ve ever heard. She is really going to love Dang, but I could have told you that without all the pooping.

After Dang changed shorts….yes, there was that much poop…. we went swimming with her nephew and her friends. It was fun, and gave me a chance to get to know the kids better. Some of my favorite pictures came from this little excursion. They loved Dang too. She is so very good with kids.

When we got back, Dam cooked for us- great cook. Dang and I enjoyed a quite meal together on the floor of the kitchen. I was so happy at this point that I was ready to melt. Yes, the food was good, but being there with Mama is what made me happy.

After a nap, it was more questions, play time with kids, and then dinner. Dinner was special for me. Dang told her family and friends how we ate in Tennessee (we all wait and eat together), and, although it’s not their custom to do so, everyone waited and ate with Dang and I. I knew what they were doing (that they were doing this for me), and it touched my heart. It was a simple gesture, but it meant so much. I enjoyed the experience. Anytime one gets to share a meal with such great company, he should recognize the honor he has been given, and I was, indeed, honored.

After dinner, we discussed “sin sot,” and, yes, it is expensive….but, let me say this: it’s fair. As I sat and worked through some numbers, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. Although, I knew I could move cash from one account to another, there was a lot to think about…. “sin sot,” wedding, Dang and I’s new home, furniture, etc. And, for the first time, I felt what it was like to worry about a family, not just myself. I don’t begrudge that worry. As a matter-of-fact, I embrace it. It makes me happy to have that in my life. This kind of worry lets me know that I have someone in my life important enough to worry about. I like it.

I had excused myself for a minuet to regain my composure. I’m not going to tell you how much for “sin sot,” but it was enough for me to need some fresh air. When I returned, Mae’s face was fixed with worry and concern herself. She was worried that she asked too much. She was concerned that the burden was too great, and she wanted to reassure me that the money would be returned, minus wedding expenses.

I never wanted the money back. Dang’s family has done so very much for her, they deserve “sin sot.” Not only that, when I marry Dang, I am taking her family as my own, as well. I want Mama and the famly to be taken care of. What’s mine is Dang’s, and what’s ours is theirs’. I give “sin sot” freely, but I appreciate the concern Mae had. She deserves much respect.

I was told while I was with Dang’s family, “Don’t consider yourself an ‘outsider,’ you are family now.” When I think of going South, this is what I think of. They embraced me, took care of me, and have made me feel welcomed. I hope I can do the same for them.

The trip back was good. It was hard returning to Bangkok. I would have like more time with Dang and her family. I would love to spend more time South.

In closing, I want to say thank you to Mama….

Mama, thank you for taking me to see your family. I know how important that was. You took a risk for me, and I realize that. I want to say that meeting your family was one of the best things I’ve ever done. The trip was good for us, and I’m happy that we travel so well together. Again, thank you, my Love. I wouldn’t trade our time South with your family for anything.

Mama, Papa loves you and your family!!!!!