Something Inside Me Is Broken.
Something inside of me has broken, it seems; I’m not sure that I can fully explain, but it has to do with feeling… spent. I feel used up, like I have no more emotional reserves.
I think that I have gotten to the point to where I have given the children up to reprobate minds. Enough is enough. I can no longer hold out any ope of mutually harmonious relationships. It may be that I haven’t given up on the children, as much as it is that I have given up on “mutually-harmonious relationships.”
I need to save something of myself for those that really do love and respect me. I’ve invested so much in the children of Jung Chul, with little to no return, that I’m near emotional bankruptcy. I truly do believe that this is, indeed, the situation.
Today, I put space (emotional and physical) between myself and the children, and I’m feeling as if there might actually be some positive feelings in the vault. No more will I squander my emotional energy.
Speaking of emotional energy, and the squandering of it, I’ll not waste emotional chi on adults that are vampyric, either. Emotional black holes, I am learning, are to be avoided at all costs.
